Totally called out!

So after sending out emails and FB messages about the inaugural blog last night, I got a hilarious and deeply meaningful email from a close high school/grad school friend.  Several weeks ago, she was in Philly for work and got to spend some time with Ryan and I.  During one of our many chats, I shared my annoyance with FB and blogging in general... and as such she pointed out the irony that I've now jumped on the band wagon of blogging!  Let's hope I don't become an annoying blogger.  (too late?!)
As my friend pointed out, blogging is a great way to get "a little window into your life - it helps me feel connected to you in a more tangible way."  She is one of many amazing people who I am blessed to share this journey of life with, but who unfortunately I don't get to see or connect with on a regular basis.  We often talk about our mutual hopes for the future, to return to MA and have our kids grow up together.  But for now, we are in different cities and seem to be living parallel lives in many ways (though we often don't even realize it).  I hope this blog is a way to connect with people like Vicki, those who have shared such pivotal experiences and parts of their life with me.  It really is the companions on the journey that make it so much more worthwhile and meaningful. 
Today at work we took the first step in our new process of accreditation by gathering to learn about the approach.  The dawn of appreciative inquiry!  The philosophy behind 'appreciative inquiry' looks at the way systems work best and what it is that exactly gives the system life... basically focusing on what works.  This is definitely an optimistic and positive approach, in contrast to diagnosing the 'problems' or what isn't really working in the system.  Though the approach is used in applied psychology and organizational development, my initial reaction is that this approach is more significantly a way of life.  It's a little new age-y, and we need to be careful not to skirt the problems (or room for growth) by focusing so much on the positive.  BUT, I am going to give it a try and be open to the possibilities.  Which leads me to introduce several more of my 30 before 30 goals:
Goal #11: Focus on the positive 
Whether it's the person who flipped me off because I didn't stop to let him cross the street on my way home (true story, but I thought he was still taking pictures of the creek below...) or the adorable dog and cat team who woke me up at 4:45am yesterday to go to the bathroom and have breakfast (another true story), it's easy to fixate on the negative, frustrating and/or annoying elements of my day.  When looking at bigger picture situations, like relationships with extended family or professional relationships, it's often a downfall of mine to hold on to or emphasize the negative and overlook all the amazing positive and life-giving elements.  Sometimes it easiest to fixate on negativity because it seems like that's what everyone else is doing.  I can easily get fired up listening to someone else's frustrations, and I also feel a sense of validation or relief to hear someone else share my grievances or affirm my complaints.  But where does it leave me?  More annoyed?  Pessimistic?  Uninspired to do anything to fix (whatever it is)?  Ready to take my frustrations out on people uninvolved?  Probably all of the above.  I don't know if the next time Annie and Bubba wake me up before 5am I will look at them and say, 'Gee, I am so blessed to have such beautiful pets'.  But, I might not spend the time it takes me to get downstairs, feed and walk them, being annoyed that it was my turn to get up early with the pets and not my loving husband's turn...  :)  This is a Helen Keller quote from the people at Case Western who've developed appreciative inquiry, and I think she really gets it:  "To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeatable."
Goal #12: Volunteer consistently
Over the last year, I got involved with an organization that collaborates with the national suicide hotline.  We answer 'crisis' calls on a local line in addition to taking local calls to the national suicide hotline.  Most of the calls are folks who are lonely, mentally ill and/or looking for an empathetic ear.  I've been sporadic in my commitment after I had a disturbing brush with a 'sex caller' (story for another day), but now I've re-committed myself and see the value in being the voice at the other end of the phone.  I hope to maintain my involvement, and continue to educate my students about the resources available to them and anyone else struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts.  My family has been touched (as most families have) with mental illness struggles and suicide.  This amazing organization gives me hope.  (1-800-273-TALK)
Goal #13:  Read a newspaper 
Even if it's digital, I'd like to be more aware of what is going on in the world.  Watching the national news every evening isn't always an option given my schedule... and it often doesn't cover everything going on (at all, or inaccurately).  Keeping Philly.com as my homepage does keep me up to date on the news and politics in this great city, but (gasp) the world exists outside of Philadelphia! 
Goal #14: Take more photographs
I used to be camera obsessed, and in the last year or two, I forget to bring my camera and regret not capturing some memorable moments.  Growing up, we always groaned when my aunt took out the camera and had us take 30 posed pictures at the holiday dinner table.  I might not need 30 copies of the same pic, but I do miss having the tangible memories.
Goal #15: Scrapbook
I've made a few scrapbooks in my day, and I just love it.  It's something that takes time, but I love letting my creative juices flow.  It also gives me a place to store those photographs and memories in a way that can be cherished and shared for years to come. 
Goal #16:  Get involved with/start a book club
This is something I've wanted to do for a couple of years now.  I went so far as to join a couple of book club groups on meetup.com... but never got the courage to show up at one of the gatherings.  One of my colleagues is in a book club with friends and former colleagues.  She admits that often she hasn't read/finished the book but it's a great excuse to get together with a great group of people once a month!  So maybe this will be through meetup.com or maybe I'll try to corral some friends to start one of our own!
Goal #17: Be more neighborly
Ryan and I have met some great people in our Manayunk neighborhood with whom we enjoy the random BBQ or chat on the street.  Chances are, we will move out of the city this summer and discover a new neighborhood.  I plan to be really intentional about getting to know our new neighbors and building a sense of community.   Perhaps some of that healthy baking will be my vehicle for community building (it's worked so far)!
Goal #18: Tour wineries and breweries
Now there's an obvious motivation here of drinking good beer and wine.  Beyond that though, it seems like I always meet some of the most interesting people at tastings and beer fests.  Maybe it's because naturally, I am a talker... and give me a few drinks and I will literally talk to a wall.  But it's also a great way to meet interesting people and explore different areas within driving distance of Philly.
Goal #19: Put my laundry away
Ryan is a very patient man, who fortunately doesn't (seem) to get really annoyed by this, but it is starting to even annoy me!  I am pretty consistent about doing our laundry and even bringing it into the bedroom, but then Ryan's stuff will magically get put away (by him) immediately, and mine will sit in the laundry basket for a week, maybe two or three.  I dig through to get something I know is in there, but otherwise it just sits there, getting wrinkled.  This also involves stuff that I might try on, but decide not to wear, which then gets tossed into/on top of the overflowing laundry basket.  I think part of this is about simplifying as well- because in reality, most of the clothes in my closet are things I never wear. 
Goal #20: Just Dance
Although I resented my parents for making me take a ballroom dancing class, the thought of taking a dance class as an adult is very intriguing.  I love the idea of learning to dance with Ryan, but I'd also love to try Zumba or some other type of solo dance.  Probably the main reason I hated dancing in middle school was due to the fact that I was/still am incredibly awkward and have a less than desirable rhythm and coordination.  That being said, my best bud at work has choreographed for me before- and I performed the Napoleon Dynamite dance at a school-wide assembly a few years back (but she had to stand backstage counting off my steps)!  So, it's possible.  Just gotta get out of my comfort zone and find a patient teacher.