I have been fortunate to be a high school teacher for the last six years at an amazing institution. My students are some of the best and brightest, and also some of the most compassionate and spirited young women who certainly give me great hope for the future. The school motto 'Spes Messis in Semine' is drilled into the girls' heads from day one and literally means 'The hope of the harvest is in the seed'. So it's my job to contribute to nurturing and helping that seed sprout. However, we also get an amazing break from harvesting for a couple of months each year! Obviously the time is spent doing some amount of planning, brainstorming, evaluating, etc. in addition to making some extra money to make up the difference of the catholic school teacher salary. Before I do all of that stuff, I have two weeks off and yesterday was the first day of 'break' for me! Hoooray! It was started off by an amazing evening Sunday with our faith sharing group. One of the biggest challenges and points of consideration came to me in response to listening to excerpts from Ignatius' exercises about interior freedom and the ultimate question: In what ways do I tend to control my life and see it as my possession instead of God's gift to me?
That one knocked me down a peg, and also made me chuckle at perhaps what my motivations are in embarking on the blogging adventure. Perhaps there is some room for reflection, in terms of my approach and attitude about 'my' life. Who is really in control, anyways? And what does that even mean? I think one of the most significant elements I need to spend some time with is letting go of some control. This can be control over struggles with relationships (both personal and professional), control over the future and what I think 'needs' to happen in order for happiness and some level of comfort to be achieved. And in order to do that, I think I need to do some listening. I've been doing a lot of talking lately, to people in my life, on this blog, and even to God. I'll probably keep up the level of talking (especially since school is out!) but I hope to up the level of listening.
As I write this entry, I am sitting on my deck, enjoying the sun, a cup of coffee and a low-fat blueberry muffin I created yesterday! First attempt at baking healthily for my friend Danielle and her twin two year old boys (did I mention she will give birth to two more twins next Tuesday). Danielle said she loved the muffins (hopefully she was being honest) but also noted that if she wasn't used to eating healthy food, she might have noticed the difference. They were made with whole wheat flour, sugar free applesauce, fat free yogurt, ff egg substitute (which somehow ended up all over the kitchen floor), lemon zest, real sugar and delicious blueberries. It was such a blessing to spend time with Danielle and hear about her life as a mom and the desire to re-connect with a faith sharing group (she is thinking she will join us Sunday night- you know, two days before she gives birth to twins) and to do the 19th annotation of Ignatius' spiritual exercises this fall. This is a 'retreat in every day life' in which you dedicate a certain amount of time to prayer/meditation/spiritual reading, etc. each day and meet regularly with a spiritual director. So she is going to do it with 4 kids under age 3. I dropped out of it after 2 months in college because I 'didn't have enough time'! Ha! Her organization and priorities are something I admire.
Something exciting on the horizon- there was a groupon yesterday for a two hour kayaking adventure for two... and much to my surprised, I received a test last night that some friends also purchased the groupon! Here's to exploring watersports this summer! Yippee!
Hoping to fill my day today with lots of cleaning, organizing and a trip to the salvation army. The energy and force I used to clean out my classroom last week (I found stuff in the closets from teachers and student projects when I was in college and/or high school... probably don't need those anymore!) needs to be harnessed and used on our bulging closets. For some reason, I just feel like I need to listen to Eminem's song about cleaning out the closets! I will keep you posted if I find anything good!
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