Yesterday I found myself in a state of delirious laughter throughout my day. I was exhausted... the week had brought some late nights and early mornings due to relying on one car and other work-related and haircut-related events. And although at times my fatigue can make me a cranky, difficult-to-be-around type of person, it seemed to turn me into a gurgling baby who laughs at the slightest gesture or silly face. My students had me laughing hysterically when they told me my new haircut made me look 'young' and 'hip'... so my previous look was old and homely?! Or as I waited for Ryan to pick me up after school, I had tears in my eyes as some of the fellow teachers and I reminisced about funny moments over the last few years including some pretty hilarious Halloween costumes and related awkward situations. It made me appreciate that even when things seem stressful, exhausting or frustrating, laughter can be the best medicine. I was just reading a great article from NCR entitled "We laugh because we know who we are" and one little story particularly struck a chord with me:
'We lose our tempers and our dignity and our way. We misspeak, misstep and mess up. If we live long enough, we end the way we began, wearing diapers and eating baby food, waiting for someone to change and feed us. Pretty funny, when you think about how much time we spend protecting our dignity, our appearance and our position.
I remember a night years ago when my father was as angry as he was drunk. He resolved to go up to the bedroom he shared with my mother and lock -- really lock -- the door. He would show us. To that end, he grabbed a hammer and a can of nails. He weaved his way up the stairs, yelling at us that we would no longer be able to make his life a living hell, or words to that effect.
My father slammed the door. Soon, we heard the sounds of nails being hammered into the doorframe, mingled with the sounds of the hammer missing the nails and hitting the wood.
Now my parents’ bedroom was a large single space above the two-car garage. I don’t think the builder planned it as a bedroom, since it had neither closets nor an adjoining bath. Its primary virtue as a bedroom was its distance from mine.
The evening had been long and loud. My mother and I were tired. We stood silently at the bottom of the stairs, listening to the sounds of wood splintering above us.
I was about to turn and go to bed when my mother gestured towards the stairs and drawled, “Un-huh. Just wait till he needs to pee.”
A beat, then I started to laugh. My mother started to laugh. We looked at one another and began to howl, full out eyes-watering, nose-running, snorting laughter.
I don’t remember how long we laughed that night, but I do remember how the gloom evaporated and the power of my father’s wrath was destroyed. I think it was the image of my father pulling out the nails, one by one, in a race against time (not to mention his bowels and bladder) that dispelled the sense of his power.
Free men and women laugh. They laugh because they know who they are, and who they are is not God, upper or lower case. Indeed, laughter may be the surest way to know and acknowledge one’s place in the cosmos, one’s place as creature and not creator.'
Though the story is obviously heart-breaking in some respects, it also celebrates the power of laughter and joy and its ability to overcome suffering and anger. One of my favorite writers of late, Fr. Jim Martin, just published a book about the importance of laughter and joy, particularly in the spiritual life. He makes the connection that humor shows hospitality, and we can make people feel welcome by laughing together. What a simple, and yet insightful point to make. Often when I am teaching about specific areas of sexuality, I have to pause and point out the fact that some of the words are just so awkward to say, and it helps to break the ice and sets me at ease (and hopefully my students!!). Fr. Jim created a mini-video about an experience he had while traveling in Africa and how humor made him feel comfortable among strangers in a somewhat awkward situation. Check it out here.
As life continues to unfold and I realize that much of life is out of my control (often to my dismay), I find myself better suited to laugh than to fight against it... It might be laughing at the amazing dance that Ryan and I do in imitation of a Patriots player (it involves doing criss-cross motions with your hands over your knees while simultaneously kicking up your feet- one at a time- and staying on your heels-- just ask me to do it, preferably in a crowded public place) or watching someone really get down, singing and dancing to music while sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, or just laughing at myself... my ridiculous attempts to be 'edgy' and 'hip' and act like I know any of the pop culture references my students make... or when I tried to do a difficult yoga move this morning and flew off my mat and fell on my face! Amazing. And, the teacher reminded me, you've got to fall a few times before you can fly. So you might as well just have some fun while doing it!
I got to spend some time today with a good friend who is in the dredges of graduate school, internships and residential ministry.... in the midst of all the intensity, she attended a workshop on Friday about humor in the spiritual life. I am totally jealous of her, but for now, I will just have to thrive off of the wisdom of Jim Martin... here's another little nugget for you! Enjoy!
No comments:
Post a Comment